As most of you know I have tried every diet out there, and before you tell me I need to try a lifestyle change instead of another diet; well I've tried those too. No lasting success. I have come to realize (from the help and advice of Aglaee Jacob) that I have a disordered relationship with food which I need to address first. I have spent so much time and energy on following different diet plans that my views regarding food, my weight and body, and myself as a person have become negative and warped.
For almost four months now I have not been following any diet, meal plan, or lifestyle change. I am eating what I want when I want. No rules at all. It was very scary in the beginning but I am much happier with it now, and feel much more free. I didn't gain a huge amount of weight by not monitoring everything I ate and didn't eat, which was probably the scariest part of not dieting. I've stayed pretty much the same. I don't weigh myself as regularly now either and try not to let it get me down. I don't feel guilty when I eat (most times, still working on it). I am trying not to view foods as good or bad. I don't tend to over eat now like I did before, and I don't binge eat anymore. In the recent past I would decide to follow a new diet plan and then eat everything in site leading up to that diet. "If I can't eat it while dieting, I have to eat it all now". See, disordered eating and thought regarding food. I am trying not to let food run my life anymore. It is still a work in progress but I am getting there :)
What I am going to do now though is try limiting/eliminating gluten from my diet again. This may sound like I'm back on a diet, but believe me, I am not. The mind-set is different now. I think gluten may be affecting my health, negatively, as I've mentioned before. I am still seeing doctors and getting tests but still unsure of the cause of my health problems as of yet. I feel bad enough on a regular basis that I need to try something to see if I can feel better. I am not going to go all gung-ho like I usually would and follow an extremely strict diet plan and then get upset and depressed when I fail because it was too hard to sustain and completely unrealistic. I will try to not eat gluten for the next 3-4 weeks while monitoring my symptoms and see if there is any improvement. If I "slip-up" and eat some gluten; it isn't the end of the world. I will carry on. I will not be weighing and using weight loss or gain as a prediction of success or failure, only how I feel. This will be more of a learning experiment for my health and I'm taking it one day at a time.
I will try to post most days with the gluten free foods I will be eating, meal plans, recipes, and my general health problems and hopefully improvements. I am hoping my issues, problems, and experiences will help others out there. Believe me, you are not alone. Wish me luck!