One of my favorite meals is Lasagna. Love it. During my many diets, there were times when I wouldn't make it or eat it because it didn't follow whatever diet rules were going on that day, week, month. I made my regular Lasagna recipe tonight, which I love, and no worries of diet rules. My recipe makes 2 large trays so now have lots leftover and already in the freezer :) One tray I made regular for myself and the other tray I made with less cheese and more spinach for Hubby.
Tried a new recipe and all I have to say is OMG! Well, actually have a little more to say or this post would be very short :) lol
A friend of mine shared this recipe recently and after he tried it I decided I would give it a try. I love Mac & Cheese but it has be super creamy and yummy. Everyone is different so this may not be for you but I loved it. I made a couple of small changes, of course. I used a different noodle and it was a gluten-free one. I added some extra milk because I cooked the pasta a little longer than the recipe suggested. I omit the cayenne and nutmeg and added some pepper at the end.
It was sooooo creamy and sooooo good. It is very rich though so I couldn't eat too much of it in a sitting. I made half the recipe and got 3 good sized servings. This is definitely a keeper! Great comfort food :)
Update: Much better fresh, not as good leftover. The sauce gets very thick, you need to add some hot water when re-heating but still not the same as when first made.
Most of you know, fish is not a favorite food of mine but Hubby loves it so I try to eat it sometimes. I am willing to try it different ways, in hopes I will find something editable. Tonight we made Spicy Fish Taco Bowls. Funny, we made these before as they were in my recipe list but I really couldn't remember them. I did find the post where we made them and seemed to like them so I figured they were a safe bet :) They are really good. The first time we made them we layered the ingredients with fish fillets on top. Today, we mixed everything together and the fish was flaked in as well. Both ways are mentioned in the recipe; I liked everything mixed together. The only changes we made to the recipe today was to omit the cumin and we halved the cayenne. Also, we used cod fish instead of tilapia (personal preference). I added salsa and avocado and it was a great meal :)
A few months ago I gave up all dieting. Yup, no diets what so ever. It is very freeing but also very scary. I still have hard days and question what I am doing and wonder if I should look into another diet program, but I stop myself and remember that 20+ years of dieting didn't work so why start that again.
No-diet does not mean I am going nuts and eating everything in sight. It doesn't mean all or even most of my choices are unhealthy. It just means I eat what I want when I want and try not to feel any guilt or shame in what I eat.
For example, today I stopped at Mary Brown's for lunch. I was out running errands and was thinking about what I wanted for lunch. I really wasn't in the mood to go home and make something and didn't have any leftovers in the fridge. I thought about several fast-food choices and as I thought about each one I thought I don't really want that so I'm not getting it. Then I thought taters from Mary Brown's, that sounded good. I stopped and got a small taters and small gravy; I don't see the point of eating taters without gravy :)
Now, how this differs from what I would have done in the past; dieting mentality vs no-diet:
1. I doubt any fast food choice would have been decided against to start with. I would have eaten pretty much anything from anywhere if I was allowing myself take-out.
2. I would have felt extreme guilt and shame after eating it because I had failed to eat healthy or just didn't have the will power.
3. Since I had eaten something "bad", the day was blown, so just as well to eat everything now and start fresh tomorrow. I wouldn't have just gotten taters and gravy. I would have included chicken or a sandwich, a soft drink, and maybe a dessert and then planned what other "bad" foods I could eat for dinner and snacks.
4. I would have likely continued to eat unhealthy choices that day until I was physically ill.
5. I may have hid the fact I ate take-out from my significant other; even though he doesn't really care what I eat.
6. Feeling guilt and shame from over-eating that day I would start my diet regime, strictly, again the following day.
Made a very simple Shepherd's Pie tonight for dinner. Didn't follow any recipe and didn't worry about any food or diet rules. It was delicious :)
I have not been following any diets or food rules for the last few months. At first, I will admit, I thought of it as another excuse to eat what I wanted and a reason not to diet and figured that after awhile I would be back on another diet plan.
Now I am starting to fully see the problematic relationship I have with food and the distorted view I have of myself. Yes, I'm overweight but there's more to me than that. Also, years and years of dieting has not changed the fact that I am overweight, so why continue down the road that is clearly not working?
I was looking back at some old photos of myself, about 15 years ago. A time in my life, as most, where I thought I was fat and needed to diet. I didn't look big in any of them and I remember feeling so huge and couldn't wait to get the weight off. I have missed too many things in my life due to negative feelings about my weight. I have not enjoyed my life as much as I should because my weight and negativity were always in the back of my mind. No more. I am living for today, whatever weight that is.
It can be very difficult to change the way you think, especially after years and years of thinking one way. Since I was in high school I have been worried about my weight and getting too heavy. Funny, because I look back at pictures and think of times when I thought I was so big and fat when really I wasn't. I am heavier now than ever and that's after 20+ years of following some sort of diet, eating plan, or lifestyle change. No matter what I call it or why I told myself I was doing it, they were all still diets to lose weight, and they left me feeling worse than when I started. I have spent over the last two decades worried about how and what I ate, how big I was (even at times when I wasn't big at all), and how to lose weight and keep it off. I felt shame and depression when I failed. I felt I had a lack of will power and that there must be a problem that lay within me. Why else could I not lose the weight or keep the weight off once I lost it? I was controlled and consumed with food.
I am coming to the realization that the years of dieting, negative thinking, and the negative view of myself are the real problems; not the weight. It isn't easy to change your mindset after years and years but I am trying. I have spent the last four months being on a non-diet. No dieting at all and no food rules. Eat what I want when I want and it is very freeing; scary but freeing. I did try to eliminate gluten recently but I quickly fell back into old ways and negative thoughts, so I just wasn't ready yet. I wanted to eliminate gluten for health reasons to see if it helped with my fatigue and joint/muscle pain. That was a big reason, but if I'm being completely honest I was also doing it to see if I would lose some weight as well. Not the right reason so I'm not pushing with that right now. I am trying to limit gluten but taking it one meal at a time and not getting too caught up in it.
I still want to be healthy (which is not about my weight) but right now I think my mental and emotional health need some fixing and healing first :)
As I talked about yesterday I was still have some struggles with my eating. I was trying to eliminate gluten for a few weeks for health reasons but I think I was quickly falling back into my old ways of thinking, which was not good. I was seeing the elimination more as a diet that I was failing at and was feeling sad and defeated.
There is a great free course offered; The Whole Batch Syndrome, which I had been meaning to do but kept putting off. I told myself I just didn't have the time or energy to put into right now but I think the real reason was I knew I was falling back into my diet mentality and I was feeling down. I did the entire course last night, and so glad I did. Several things she discusses were so me. I am not alone. That concept, on its own, can be so helpful in a time of sadness. She made one comment regarding doing various diets in her past and saying they were for health reasons but really, if she was being truthful with herself, it was for weight loss. I did that for years and think I may still be doing it to some extent. I want to feel better, of course, but it's always in the back of my mind about losing the weight.
I feel like I am ready to continue again. I am not looking at anything long term; just taking it one meal at a time. No more good foods vs bad foods, or being good vs being bad. I am eating what I want and need; and no weighing.
Had some Sweet Potato Hash with eggs this morning/afternoon; more of a brunch. Picked on some gluten-free crackers and cream cheese for a snack. Also had some chocolate peanut butter ice cream :) Dinner tonight was roasted veggies and chicken. Regardless of what I ate it's a great day because I feel good today!
I will admit I am still struggling with my eating this past week.
I love the idea of no more dieting and am doing well with that but than decided to try and go gluten-free for a few weeks to see if it would help with some of my health issues; mainly fatigue along with joint and muscle pain. I am trying to do it as an experiment and not look at it as a diet because I don't want to fall back into negative patterns of thinking: bad foods, failure, weakness, diet, etc... I did really well my first week but than seemed to have a little gluten here and there throughout the rest of my week. I am not too concerned about eating the small amounts of gluten but more so how this week has made me feel. I am starting to have old thoughts creep in regarding my ability to follow thorough. I feel like I failed and I don't have any will power and need to be stronger. I know these thoughts are untrue and I need to take power over them, but it's still difficult. I am trying to get past this and continue on.
Some of my eating this week; I will not say good and bad eating, but instead some gluten-free and some not gluten-free. I had homemade tacos on corn tortillas. I tried a new recipe for Honey Garlic Chicken that was pretty good. I made pizza, gluten-free crust for myself, pita pizzas for Hubby. We ate out on St. Paddy's Day and I had Shepherd's Pie and a delicious Guinness cake (not gluten-free). I did have a breakfast sandwich from Tim Horton's (sorry no pic, and yes it had gluten). Made a delicious Sweet Potato Breakfast Hash with eggs this morning and had wings at Wing"N It for supper (again no pic and not gluten-free).
Another great dinner club! Thanks Katie & Dave!
There was some picky foods to start, including an option of gluten-free crackers for me due to my new gluten-free experiment. Lots of wine and drinks were available; so glad white wine is gluten-free, woot woot! :) Our appetizer was a Caesar salad with dressings on the side.
The main was a make your own pizza theme. I will admit when I saw the menu last week I actually considered not going to dinner club this month because it would be too hard to eliminate gluten. Then I thought I would wait until after dinner club to start my gluten-free experiment as there was no point in starting if I knew I would "fail" that evening. Then I realized (after someone else suggested it, thanks Aglaee) that there was a third option. I could still start my gluten-free experiment as planned and still go to dinner club, and if I ate some gluten, so be it. It's not the end of the world and I will continue limiting or eliminating gluten again after dinner :) Wow, what an idea :)
Pizza was great. They had a large variety of toppings and even though they made their pizza dough from scratch they also bought gluten-free ones for me as an option :) Yay! I had the gluten-free and it was great.
Dessert was homemade pastry horns filled with whipped cream and melted chocolate. So yummy; and no, not gluten-free, but that's life. I made a choice to eat dessert, and they were delicious and so worth it. No guilt because not on a diet :)
I tried two new recipes this evening for supper. First we tried the Stuffed Avocado but I used baked, shredded chicken instead of tuna; as Hubby refuses to eat canned tuna. These were delicious. Definitely a keeper. I will likely try them with the tuna as well :)
Next we had the Greek Quinoa Salad. This was pretty good as well but not as good as the avocado :) Hubby didn't want the feta cheese mixed in so I just added some to the top of mine upon serving. It was a nice meal for a change of pace but I think it would make a better side dish for us. It has very nice flavors, and everything works well together, but felt like it was more of a side than a main.
I am still trying to remain gluten free to see if my health improves; so far so good! I am feeling a little better but way too early to tell yet if it has anything to do with gluten. Breakfast was cereal (I mix two kinds together), gluten-free of course; with nuts, blackberries, and coconut. Lunch was leftover Chicken Fried Rice from last night's supper. I also had some dark chocolate and some avocado oil potato chips as snacks today. Again, not on a diet :)
My name is Michelle and I am tired of struggling with my weight. I am stopping the struggle.