Weird how things can change in a blink of an eye. I have been spending the month of December focusing on not being on a diet. I have such a bad relationship with food from years of dieting that I am trying to fix that first.
Now Hubby is changing how he eats due to having a heart attack last week. He is only 44 years old but has a family history. He exercises and eats pretty well and doesn't smoke (never did); the hospital staff told hime if he didn't live like he did this would probably have happened years earlier.
Due to this experience Hubby is now fearful of fats again and has purchased margarine :( Never thought I would have margarine in the house again but if he feels better and the doctors recommend it then I hope it's for the best for him.
Tonights meal was trout cooked in avocado and olive oil and a little Tea-aki seasoning, along with oven roasted veggies done with olive oil and pepper. Not my favorite but what Hubby wanted :)

I have been completely out of my comfort zone lately by not following any sort of diet. I think the numerous number of years of dieting in the past has really messed me up; both physically and mentally.

The last few weeks I have not been following any sort of diet plan. I am not considering any foods to be off limits or any foods to be categorized as "bad". I am not following any strict rules regarding what I eat or when I eat. I am simply trying to eat, and be, healthier; but it is not a simple black or white scenario anymore.

What I have noticed with this change from always dieting to no dieting at all is I am overall much happier :) I would always be happier and get an almost giddy feeling when I ate what I wanted (foods that were considered bad), but now it's more of a general overall feeling. In addition, during times of dieting, I would often feel depressed and guilty regarding food and my body. This is not gone away but it has become less.

​I still get worried and a little anxious over not following a rigid set of rules for eating, and I'm afraid I will just get bigger and bigger; but so far so good. I am actually eating a little less, I think. Before, I would eat larger amounts of food and binge often because the next diet was right around the corner and who knows when you would get to stuff your face with the forbidden foods again. Now, I try to stop eating when I am feeling full; even if my plate isn't empty. Sometimes I have a little trouble with this, especially when it's something delicious :) but I am having many more leftovers to eat at another time instead of stuffing myself and likely eating something else again later anyway.

​Some of my food the past week or two: